Thursday, August 27, 2009

On the outstanding benefits of using the internet.

Choosing an internet is an intensely personal and intimate decision. There are so very many internets out there to choose from! The possibilities make the mind swim and the genitals moisten. To begin one's search for the proper internet it is important to be in touch with oneself. Who are you really? Do you desire credible news sites, or perhaps informative websites concerning pornographic treatises, or do you perhaps crave something a bit more arcane? And draconian? Antiquated and baffling? Bigoted and generally discredited? Simpering and emotional? Out of touch and brutally self conscious? Sitting outside the house with a large blade waiting to tickle the insides of the brain with effervescent scrutiny? Here at the laboratories of Dr. Professor Yamoto we pride ourselves. Mostly it is a good thing and the realities that we insinuate are of the most important textures. Grisly underbone and wild huckleberry cordial. I, for one, think this internet suits me just fine. In the future we may be able to force people to read the internet, and I believe that the more people we can force to do anything helps further the development of a truly grandiose society. I sit and hope. One day the world will be nothing but a series of checklists, checked and double-checked by men dressed not unlike Mormon missionaries, with lupine grin included. As a huge fan of regimented behavior, and lists of any variety, I long for these bright new days. Happy lists of daily events and schedules...Did this one shave? That one shower? Those ones leave misused tissues under the couch? The world will be a cleaner and more appropriate environment for the cultivation of art and theory. The cynical voice of the past will step aside in favor of a new voice, filled with accuracy and effeciency. Each man will be equipped with a notepad and a very nice pen. With these instuments he will be able to keep his head above water. These tools may even connect to the mandatory internet information services with the neccesary literature for the youngsters to study. It will all be available and the world will be so much better for it. For now, while choice still hinders the discussion, you can find the atmosphere of this thrilling future right here on this internet! So glorious! I am in favor of anything that involves Mormon missionaries, those guys are alright. Enjoy!


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