Thursday, August 27, 2009

Regarding Arnold.

So this new Sylvester "Sly" Stallone film coming out soon, The Expendables, will have Arnold Schwarzenegger making a cameo as a retired Lieutenant General of the Expendables (the loose-cannon, renegade team of mercenary renegades who, incidentally, don't play by the rules). Many third-grade recess pontifications will soon be realized: Rambo and The Terminator, teamed up at last.

Unfortunately, it's a cameo. It's better than nothing, but I'd love to see Arnold in another starring role, his granite visage plastered on billboards all around town. Which got me thinking: Does Arnold have one more great action movie left in him? He'll be run out of California on a rail soon, so his schedule will be wide open. Recently, Tom Arnold, in a cocaine-fueled frenzy (I'm assuming) mentioned that he was teaming up for True Lies 2 with James Cameron at the helm, once Arnold's political stint has wrapped. James Cameron quickly shot that down as poppycock and hogwash. Did Tom Arnold spill some beans that Jim didn't want spilled? Or was he, in all likeliness, zooted on a plethora of drugs and just blabbering?

If James Cameron is too busy pilfering silverware from the Titanic, I say we bust John McTiernan out of Director Jail and let him get loose again. The world will never see another action hero like Arnold again, ever. It frightens me to think that "kids these days" probably haven't even seen an Arnold movie in the theaters. All they know is Vin Diesel and....I dont know...Nick Cannon or somebody. Whoever is 'in' right now.

Arnold needs one last glorious moment in the spotlight, as the unmovable destroyer of worlds that we all know him to be. This recent Twitter video he made, where he inexplicably brandishes a giant hunting knife before talking budget cuts, made me realize that he's still got it.

Can't you picture him gutting a South American warlord with that thing, then turning to the camera to deliver some kind of glib comment? I can. "KNIFE doing business vit you." Jesus, these things write themselves.

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